FINALLY...MEN!

Thanking God for a Full-Circle Moment

Nearly 30 years ago, God used one man’s loving and unselfish example to plant a seed in my own heart which later germinated into Leave Nothing Unsaid.

Many of you have heard my story of visiting our dear friend, Larry Elliott, at Emory Hospital in Atlanta the night before his surgery for a shockingly diagnosed brain tumor.

Larry had asked his wonderful wife, Bev, for pen and paper as she re-entered his hospital room. And since my inquiring mind was not completely hard-wired to my mouth at that point, I waited until the next day when Larry was in surgery to ask Bev for the reason behind his seemingly urgent request.

“He wanted to write a letter to each of our three children in case he doesn’t make it through today’s surgery.”

I was gobsmacked.

Sadly, in the last 20+ years as I have been speaking and coaching on the importance of written affirmation and encouragement to those we love, I’ve had a hard time convincing other men to follow Larry’s example.

Yes, a few will step up.

But not too many.

My guesstimate is that of the thousands of people I have coached through this process, for every eight women who will write letters, two men will do so.

I have also looked into the hurting eyes of countless people who said: “I wish I had a letter from my dad (husband, son).” My heart always wants to break in two.

Recently, (feeling somewhat discouraged), I was wondering about the future of my calling with Leave Nothing Unsaid with two beloved and wise friends, Tammy and Jay. “I just wish I could reach more men,” I sighed.

A lightbulb went off in “Jay, the Ideator’s” mind. He suggested inviting a group of his men friends to their home in advance of Valentine’s Day so that I could coach and equip them to write letters to their wives. Tammy quickly offered to make the men breakfast. We picked a date - Saturday, a week before Valentine’s Day. My heart wanted to burst with joy. FINALLY!

The day arrived. Tammy prepared a wonderful breakfast, slipped upstairs and we got started. Fifteen men, from ages 30-70, participated. Clipboards in hand, they began writing, section by section. As we progressed, a few men shared snippets of what they had written to their wives. Their words were beautiful. Authentic. Deeply heartfelt and meaningful. Words that I knew would be cherished by the recipients.

I encouraged the men not just to appreciate the many things their wives do for THEM, but to focus on qualities about their wife to affirm and celebrate. To let their wives know the reasons they were cherished.

Ninety minutes later, the men had their letters drafted. Jay asked each man to commit to finishing his letter and giving it to his bride for Valentine’s Day and to be accountable to the group. BRILLIANT!

The feedback from the men deeply touched my heart. One gentleman, probably close to my age, told me he felt like he was walking three feet off the ground because he was so excited about the letter he had written and those that he planned to write.

(I literally could have laid on the floor and bawled happy tears, but I restrained myself.)

Today is a few days after Valentine’s Day. I’ve already heard from several wives about what her husband’s letter means to her.

My request and challenge to the men was this: “let this be just the beginning…please write to your children and to your parents if you’re still fortunate enough to have them. You’ll never fully know the profound and lasting impact your loving and affirming words can make. ”

(Sidenote: I also begged them not to delegate their writing to AI. Much to my chagrin, others have done that in lieu of letter writing. A wife can always tell!)

And thank you, dear Tammy and Jay, for making this possible. As Jay so eloquently expressed as we began that Saturday morning: “Letters clearly matter to God. He left us His Word, the best love letter we could ever receive.”

This wonderful experience provided fresh wind for my sails and renewed my sense of calling to continue sharing this message. Hopefully, more and more men will participate! As Jay said: “When we met, we asked God to make His will clear to you about Leave Nothing Unsaid. I think He just answered that prayer!”

Seeds of Encouragement:

If you are a man, could I encourage you to do this, too? Perhaps gather a group of men and allow me to lead you through this process? Either in person or via Zoom, it’s possible! I can be reached at jody@LeaveNothingUnsaid.com or at 404-309-6846. I’d be honored to help you. Of course, I’d be delighted to help women, too!

Words from the Master Encouragementor™:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

With love and deep gratitude,

Your friend,

Jody